Inspiring Articles


Dejunking the Mind

The biggest junk that we digest is criticism, rejection, negative self-esteem, fear, worry and stress. Dejunking our mind, heart, feelings start with our attitude - how we see people and situations - because we create our own reality. We need the power to dejunk to throw out all of these emotions. We need the power of choice. We can choose how to respond to circumstances and people, but even that depends on having the strength inside to be able to choose positively.

The World Health Organisation states that depression will be the biggest disease facing the world by the Year 2020. More and more of the sicknesses and diseases are becoming psychosomatic, that is, the state of mind determines the state of health. Dejunking the mind not only results in peace of mind but also makes the body healthier. There’s a saying that “happiness is the greatest medicine”. Some people say, “how can I be happy in this mess” Look at the world. Become more realistic. Don’t be so optimistic. That’s all the more reason to be optimistic and positive. If someone is sick, does it mean I have to become sick also. To help someone who is depressed does that mean I also have to become depressed. It’s crucial to stabilise in my inner positive strength. Understanding myself helps me to transform and change myself.

It is easy to bring negative emotions, such as anger, hate or revenge into our minds and feelings. When we recognize these emotions it's like a snake spitting its poison. We may also recognize that we shouldn’t be thinking or feeling this. Sometimes we do manage to control our emotions but if we don’t do it correctly, then after a while, control starts to become suppression, which is not healthy for the self. To explode and poison others people is violence, we know that, but to let these emotions implode is also an act of violence. Junk is collected when I suppress. I have to learn to transform, and I can’t transform unless I am non-violent. Non-violence is self-respect and respect for others. Violence is using emotional sabotage to get my own way, and allowing others to use emotional sabotage on me to get their own way.

To deactivate that poison or that inner bomb, we need to discover the positive self, the unactivated qualities and use them as a power in our life. My personal values are important in overcoming the junk that people throw at me. I have to recognise that a negative feeling towards myself or towards others is simply not going to produce any type of well-being or positive solution. If a feeling is emerging from my own self-respect then the reactions of others will not damage me. When I’m true to my own self no one can damage me. Others can hurt me to some extent, maybe unbalance me a little bit but I can get back on my feet because I’m being honest. An honest person has nothing to fear.

Dependency is junk. To think that a person, a particular role, or a position is going to make me feel better is an illusion. The more dependent I am, the less self respect I have and I become more possessive. When you become more possessive people run away. When I’m dependent, I’m demanding, I’m expecting a certain form of behaviour. You can’t demand good things from others, you have to become worthy of them. Then they are given from the heart. Love, peace, happiness - the best things in life are free. But the best things in life are given freely. They’re not bought, they’re not measured.

There are three levels, dependent, independent and interdependent. Dependency is when you make others totally responsible for your happiness. When you don’t get what you want, you accuse them. With dependency, there’s no personal growth. I don’t develop my own mind and my own thinking. I feel very trapped. I can’t be my own person.

Being independent is when I start to take responsibility for my own life. I start to develop my own personality. I recognise my worth and my value and I start to use it. I have to be cautious of not becoming egocentric - that selfish individualism. Everything has a positive side and a negative side to it. I have to get the balance right. I must develop my individuality because I have that right to be my own self but if I take it too far I can become very selfish and this is why the next one is the most valuable - interdependence.

When I’ve developed my own sense of identity, self worth and self respect, I can begin to co-operate with others. The cycle of nature is very interdependent. Day and night, the forest, the body. For example, a hand has it’s own identity but the hands work together with the face and arms. That’s interdependence, not dependency. The different parts of the body work together as a whole. Ideally, society and relationships should also function like this. A baker, a doctor, a gardener are all individually needed for the community to be whole. When I become attached to my talent or to my position then rather than creating a co-operative environment and a sharing of different talents, difference becomes a means for feeling superior to others. When there is self respect, there’s no fear or insecurity, and so I can accept and respect others and our differences. When there is insecurity we want everybody to be the same. This creates power struggles where the dominant one tries to suppress the inferior one.

To de-junk myself, I have to free myself. I cannot free myself by using hate or anger. That’s going to trap me even more. My mind, and my emotions usually get taken up with that feeling of anger. Resentment doesn’t allow me to leave the past in the past. Nor does it allow me to learn from the past. Why hold the poison of the past within my own heart? I have to have mercy on myself and claim my rights to freedom and happiness. There has to be determination to find a way to free myself from the junk.

If a person has caused me pain or sorrow, I have to ensure that my own attitude towards that person has been renewed. Even if the relationship is no longer ongoing, it may still be stored as a memory within my own self. What I need to do, is understand the situation from their point of view. Even if they insist on doing something negative, let me leave it to the universe to deal with. If you believe in God, leave it to God to deal with. Let me not play the judge or the lawyer and constantly have a court inside my emotions and pass the sentence of guilty, or that they need to be punished. Leave it. Let God take care of it. If you don’t believe in God, let the universe take care of it. Let me be very neutral by drawing on my own positive resources, my own experience of inner peace and deep love. Love is an easy word to say but love is not just someone I like or someone I prefer. Within the power of love there is forgiveness and tolerance. There is letting go. Real love is always freeing the other. Not holding them.

Being very critical makes things more negative. I need to be aware of what’s going on, but not judgemental or critical. We love to judge and label. Be aware, be patient, and allow the good side to emerge. I need to ask myself: am I so perfect and positive? No, I get irritated, I get upset and I hope that person that I get upset with can be understanding enough to let it go, that they can see my good points, and not hold it against me. In other words, I need to treat others how I wish to be treated. If I’m critical I need the understanding, that it is my own ego of thinking that ‘I know’. There are some things I don’t know.

The human mind is on overload, over-thinking, over-doing, over-speaking. To dejunk the mind and bring it to a state of health, three steps to silence need to be used: disconnect (or unplug), connect and then thirdly, reconnect. I need to disconnect from all the outside things from time to time because I am plugged into this person or that person, and to situations. There are many sockets we have all over the place which constantly give me a current. Very often it can be very negative and sometimes we have so many of these currents coming into us that we short circuit. We can’t deal with it. We are mentally exhausted. The result of that is that the mind becomes very easily negative over little things.

To make ourselves healthy, we need to become very introspective so that we can experience the power of silence. Some people think, that silence means doing nothing. All creative action comes from true silence. Whether it’s the scientist, the philosopher, or discoveries in medicine. First of all there was silence. Silence means the step inward, to observe. Silence is the ingredient needed to heal myself. Silence allows you to conserve energy. When you step inside yourself, you conserve the energy of your vision, your ears, your mouth and you just become very still. We have forgotten how to stop in our society because we want to appear very functional. For many people, being busy means tuned into reality. Doing things is the way to express that you are alive, that you are able to achieve, so we’ve forgotten this ability to stop and be still.